Still looking for my motivation

It was difficult to get motivated to do anything this morning. I only had two things to do today, two things that I conveniently managed to not do yesterday. But once again I managed to not get them done today either. I was a bit frustrated with myself especially since I knew nothing would be done this evening either. The only thing I managed to do today was send a text bday greeting to my friend Jen. What is wrong with me? Well, at least I didn't have a melt down for the first half of the day.

I decided that I needed to go to NikeRunClub this evening because I also have not been able to motivate myself to run whether in the morning or the evening, as I had planned to, for the past couple of days. But I know darn well that if I go to run club, then there would be no way to get out of running. Other than the short stints on the treadmill at the gym last Thursday evening and about a month ago, the last time I ran was on April 21st - that was three months ago. So, wasn't sure how far or how long I'd be able to go this time out, but was pleasantly surprised that I made it an entire mile without stopping. It was exhilarating, so hopefully this will help me stay motivated to at least run on a more regular basis. Maybe this will be the first of my new 'normal' life?

Ugh! Then on the way home I almost started to cry. WTF! - you'd think with all the endorphins running through my body after a run that I'd be on a bit of a high driving home, but no, I almost had the weepies again. I managed to hold it in though. Yesterday was a cry-free day, but Monday my dad was having a tough day, so I almost got caught up in a cry. Too bad I can't funnel my crying outbursts into the drive to do other things, maybe get my mojo back.