How does my neck look? 5/31/11

A year ago today, I joined the blogosphere and posted my first blog entry! As can be expected in the first year of one's cancer journey, I have gone through a lot in the past 365 days, so I am glad I was able to document what I was going through - my blog has been a good outlet for me.

I am currently preparing for my one-year whole body scan (WBS), just started the LID yesterday. Instead of going off my meds, I will be getting Thyrogen shots this year, followed by the RAI dose, then WBS and unsurpressed Tg/TgAB blood draw. The whole thing will take five days. But I'm not sure about the timing of all of this. I had a CT scan with contrast last August, to check for some areas of concern in my chest area that was found after my RAI ablation treatment last July. The result was clear, but the contrast that was given to me can stay in my body for up to a year, and could interfere with any RAI given for treatment, whether it is an ablation dose or a scan dose. It will be just 10 months post CT scan with contrast when I get my one-year dose/scan in two weeks. I think I need to call my NucMed doc to see if this will be Ok, or if we should wait a few more months.

Not sure if I really want to put it off for two more months because I am anxious to see if there is still any thyroid cancer, well, either of the two flavors I have, left in my body. I guess it does not really matter since I will need yearly follow up anyway - blood work and ultrasounds to make sure my TSH is at the right level and that my Tg (Thyroglobulin, the ThyCa tumor marker) is still undetectable. I almost want something to show up so I can be monitored more closely than once a year - I just don't want to be walking around for 12 months thinking things are fine only to find out at my annual check that things have gone horribly wrong, and the worry starts all over again because I have to go through more surgery or another round of RAI, not a scan dose, but another ablation dose. No, I definitely want to be spared from that. Then again, I guess the best thing is to be surprised. I don't think God would send me down a path that I could not handle, so bring it on.

Anyway, how does my neck look, 365 days later?

LID is....expensive

I went LID shopping after yoga earlier today. I stopped by Trader Joe's, Henry's, and Whole Foods. For approximately $74, I picked up the following:

Trader Joe's:
Zico coconut water
Vanilla meringue cookies
Brown rice fusilli
Organic Green Tea
Organic Polenta
Fruit applesauce 4pk
Green and yellow beans
Broccoli, carrots, cauliflower medley
Bananas

Henry's:
Cilantro
Strawberries
Blueberries
Raspberries
Avocados
Blanched almonds
Sweet potato
Yam

Whole Foods:
Bissinger's Natural Apricot Green Tea gummy pandas
Luna & Larry's Organic Coconut Bliss Naked Coconut
Fresh chicken breast (no skin/bone)
MimicCreme Almond & Cashew cream for coffee french vanilla
Scharffen Berger Mocha Dark Chocolate with freshly roasted coffee

Hopefully all of this stuff will last me until the end of the week. The Luna & Larry's naked coconut 'ice cream' tastes really good! There were a few flavors, and I believe just about all of the flavors are LID safe. I'm not planning on eating the chicken every day, so it should last me for the whole two weeks of LID. I need to get some instant coffee for the MimicCream, or I could put that in my oatmeal. I already mixed half of the berries and bananas for a fruit salad that I can eat any time. I'll probably bring the applesauce to work, for a quick and easy snack. I'm looking forward making guacamole, but not sure what to eat it with.

For lunch, I stir-fried chicken, garlic, and blanched almonds with some olive oil and sesame seed oil, then threw in the TJ's green and yellow beans, topped with some TJ's pink himilayan salt. I threw that on top of some jasmine/brown rice. It was very tasty.

Despite the restrictions of the LID diet, all LID food is good and tasty. But, depending on what it is I am eating, sometimes LID foods don't go too well with my WeightWatchers program. For example, nuts. I love nuts, but they can carry a lot of points plus. Dark chocolate, but chocolate is always high in points plus. Rice, pasta, quinoa - I love it all, but they are all high in points plus. My new discovery (thanks to Suzanna from my ThyCa group), the Luna & Larry 'ice cream' is also high in points plus, but oh so good! I am trying watch my portions this time because I think that is where I went overboard last year. I put in my points plus for what I've eaten so far today, and I almost used up all of my points plus for the day! .

Low Iodine Diet (LID), round 2

In preparation for my one-year body scan on June 15 (followed by 5 mCi RAI dose on June 13), I have to start the LID today, two weeks before hand. Hopefully this round of LID will be much better than the first round, last year. I even bought the LID cookbook earlier this year, but didn't crack it open until earlier this month. I was able to read more on the flight legs between LAX and Austin this past weekend. Now if I only had time to do some LID shopping before I left for Austin last week....the only thing I knew for sure that I had on hand for LID is Diet Coke.

So what was for breakfast today? I made myself a bowl of oat meal with (I think all of this stuff is LID-safe):
3/4 cups Quaker Oats (Quick - 1 minute) [100% natural, 100% whole grain, sodium free], mixed with 
A dash of Trader Joe's Himalayan Pink Salt Crystals [made on equipment shared with wheat and soy]
1 TSP of Organic Light Brown Sugar [Organic & Fair Trade Certified]
1 TSP of Trader Joe's Cocoa Powder Unsweetened [Tumaco Cocoa Powder]

I washed that down with 8 oz of Diet Coke. I know, I should have just had water, but the oats were a bit stale, and the only thing I had on hand that is LID compatible to take the stale taste out of my mouth was the diet coke.

Thank goodness today is a holiday so I'm not at work worrying about eating LID approved food. I'm pretty sure Trader Joe's, Henry's, and WholeFoods will be open today. So that is the plan, after I pick up the pests, I mean pets, from the vet/kennel, and possibly after yoga, I'll go LID shopping.

Here we go...boarding for flight to go back home. Sigh. I need to spend more time with my sister Caroline in Austin. Once I get home, I'm pretty much on the LID.

Seems like we just go here, and now it is almost time to go home! Too short, but nice we all made it for the graduation, even Viv - a very nice surprise!

Our flight was cancelled! I got myself & mom on an earlier flight, dad on a much later flight, different airline. Should be interesting.

Thyrogen shots: Don't get to go to my local UrgentCare, have to go to the one at my ENDOs office for my shots. The good news is they have Thyrogen, on hand.

How does my neck look? 5/22/11

I haven't been good at posting neck photos this month. Been very preoccupied. I even missed posting on May 17th, a year after my second, completion surgery, to remove the right side of my thyroid. How did that day pass without me posting about it? Not sure. Was that more of a defining moment than hearing from my ENDO three days later that a different type of thyroid cancer was found on the right side? That day I felt like I should not only pig out on froyo, but buy a bunch of lottery tickets as well - how lucky was I to have not one, but two types of ThyCa?

Thinking back to what I was feeling and going through a year ago today (Saturday, May 22, 2010), I know my neck, back, and shoulders were still very sore from the surgery and from having to sleep at a 45 degree angle for so many days. I remember the pain and soreness in my upper back stayed for several weeks this time. Maybe that was from not fully recovering from that first surgery. I was looking forward attending my very first ThyCa meeting. I was wondering what RAI was going to be like and the LID diet I would have to do for two weeks before hand.

Today, I'm worried why I'm always feeling tired - is it a bad batch of T3? will my meds have to be changed again? I am not looking forward to my next round of LID that starts on Memorial day (May 30th), and a little worried about what my 1-yr WBS (scheduled for June 15th) will look like - will my 'mystery tissue' show uptake? What about the areas of my thyroid bed that showed intensity last year? Then there's the unsuppressed Tg/TgAB blood draw. What about the two Thyrogen shots I have to take before my RAI scan dose? - will it be affected by the global Thyrogen shortage? So, different year, different worries. But there are many worse things I could be worrying about right now, so I am fine with where I am now because at least now I have a better idea of where this is all going, so far, at least.

Anyway, how does my neck look?

A little freaked out because I forgot to put sun block on my scar this morning, and it is sunny today.

Cancer has claimed another

I just found out that a friend of mine passed away from cancer about an hour ago. No, it was not thyroid cancer, it was a more vicious one. The details are not that clear. All I know is that he has been fighting it for three long years.

I just saw Gary in March. A group of us had dinner one rainy Saturday evening. He just had a round of chemo with complications, but he was feeling well enough to be out and about. A couple of days later I met them downtown for lunch at Monsoon (indian buffet), then we all walked down to the diamond market a few blocks away to visit with one of their neighbors that owns a jewelry design business. I guess it is a good thing for your last memories of someone to be around food and good times. That is how I'd like to be remembered.

Jerry, one of my friends from San Francisco (and also one of Frankie's god-fathers), came down earlier this week because Gary was not doing well. They worked together for many years at the same airline. Jerry also had cancer several years back. About a month ago, Nick (Frankie's other god-father) and Jerry told me that Gary was in the hospital, I said I wanted to visit, they said they'd let me know when he was home and feeling up for visitors. I never got that call. I am starting to wonder if it was because he never got to go home. I got a text from Nick two days ago that Jerry was here for Gary. Two days later, and I don't get to see him again. 

So many things can happen in a day, week, month, or year. You never get that time back. Some of us have cancer growing inside of us and don't even know it until it is too late. It doesn't matter what kind of cancer it is, the words "good" and "cancer" should never be used together in the same sentence. Never! And even if you survive cancer for many years, it is always waiting and hanging out in your body just waiting for any opening to get back in there and start stirring things up again when you least expect it. It may not happen today, tomorrow, or even next year, but it will happen. Cancer will rear it's ugly head in your face because it can. Stupid cancer. Why having we found a way to prevent it from growing in our bodies yet?!?

Still not on top of things

I crashed again this afternoon, but I was able to keep my eyes open this time. I think I was frustrated enough with two of the projects I am working on to stay awake. I tell you those project management terms really don't make sense - I am sure they help keep projects on track, but they all seem to ask the same exact thing, so they all seem rather pointless. Just let me start working on the fun stuff already!

I did make it to yoga this evening. It was not until 20 minutes into the class that I remembered that this particular instructor's classes always kicked my ass. So many chattarangas. Lots of asanas that were new to me. I sweated a lot. My hamstrings were killing me. Regardless, I hopped on the treadmill after yoga.

I just had to try out my new Nike SportWatch GPS on a treadmill. Now the cool thing about this watch is that you can use it indoors as well as outdoors - I guess most GPS watches only work outside since they need to link to the satellites in the skies above? Anyway, you turn off the satellite link so the Nike+ shoe pod takes over, working just like the Nike+ SportBand works. Last night I was having problems linking my SportWatch to my shoe pod and the satellite. I walked around on the street for several minutes trying to link the darn thing to both. Was not happy. This evening, it couldn't even find my shoe pod! Well, user error as I finally realized that I never linked my watch to my shoe pod. Once I did that, everything worked well. I'll have to try the interval training part next time I'm on the treadmill.

So, energy level still not good, hamstrings still not happy (not with running, climbing, pilates, and definitely not with yoga), projects at work not going well.....so, still not on top of things.

Running motivation

I have been salivating over the new Nike+ SportWatch GPS since it was announced earlier this year in Las Vegas at CES. At run club this past Wednesday, they finally had the watch at the local Nike store, I was even able to try it on and play with the buttons. The weekend before I went on vacation, the staff at RoadRunnerSports were telling me they would be getting the watch the week of May 15th. I'd rather get the watch at RRS since I get 10% off everything there, so I called them Friday afternoon, and they said they didn't know when it was coming in. I called earlier this afternoon, and I was told they didn't know when it was coming in. So I decided to call the Carlsbad store. They told me the SD store already has it. Huh?!? Crap. So while I was out doing my errands, I decided to stop by the SD store. And, there it was, on display. They had a bunch of empty boxes next to the display. After flagging down a sales person, one was taken out of the glass case for me. I tried on the display to see, once again, just how big it was on my wrist. But I had already decided I was going to get it, despite the fact that later this year there may be more colors (how about one with pink trim!?!). I tell myself I need this new gadget, to step up my running game. To get me to run one or two days more a week. To finally feel like I am ready to run a 5k race.

I also have been telling myself that I need to find a new climbing partner, so I can step up my climbing game. Apparently I need to step up a couple of my 'games.' I think the bottom line is that I want to be more fit than I currently am. I've been slacking on my WW program, so I have not been losing any weight, more like gaining a few pounds here and there. I'm definitely not putting in the time at the gym or exercising on my own. I do strength training sporadically, I don't even climb once a week anymore (I blame Serena for moving back to Philly!). And the running, well, I'm still just doing run club each week, but at least I started to jump on the treadmill after pilates. But I know it is not enough, not my three days of 'exercise each week. So, now I have a new running watch that not only tracks my time/pace/calories burned/distance, but now also tracks where I ran, and can do interval training, and if I get the heart rate monitor, it could also track my heart rate during my exercise activities. For the climbing, I'm thinking of taking a few classes, signing up for workshops and what not when I can. Hopefully I can climb with Magnus once a week. For my other days, I'm planning on running at least one more day a week to start, then work up to two days a week; I'm also looking to adding in a yoga class or a hip hop class (most likely not Zumba); then do weights after pilates, get the strength training in. For now, while I am adding more exercise days, I should not try to do too much each day so I can still get in enough sleep. If I do this all right, then I'll be more fit and well rested.

So there you have it, my running (and exercise, in general) motivation!

Is the T3 working? - part 2

Earlier this week, I would have had to say, "No!"...because I fell asleep at work! Holy smokes! It was after lunch, and I just ran out of gas. I think it was on Wednesday. I was sitting in front of my PC, working on something, and I just felt really tired and sleepy. So, I allowed myself to drift off because I couldn't fight it anymore. One of my co-workers noticed that I had drifted off due to my posture and slammed a drawer shut to wake me. She said she had to slam it a couple of time to get me up. Great. WTF! Thank goodness this only happened once this past week! But looking back, the past month had been full of up and down energy levels.

So I had to think back to my sleep pattern, anything else that could be causing me to be so tired, other than my meds. Well, I was on vacation for a week, but managed to go to sleep at 4am just about every morning. I did all the driving the whole week, in a minivan. I was less stressed over work stuff....well, maybe not really, but at least that is what I was telling myself. I was able to nap on the flight home. The next day I was up early to take my dad to his cardiology appt. Hadn't worked out since the day before I left for vacation (Sun, May 1). Hmmm......nothing too different there.

Then I started to look at my meds. I am prescribed 1/2 of a 25mg T3 each day, which means I have to split my pills in half to get the proper does. Now, the first round I was pretty good at splitting in half. But I remember the second and current round, I was not as precise since I know several of the split pills were noticeably smaller than the rest I had split. I wonder if this could be it, the reason for me not being consistent with energy these past couple of weeks?

I just started round three of T3. Since my T3 can be generic, this round was in fact made by a different manufacturer. The pills are round now and thicker than the first two rounds. I bought a new pill splitter since I broke the one my mom uses. I actually broke her pill splitter, then realized I could easily split the pills manually, between my fingers! Silly. Anyway, I tried to be more precise this time. I actually busted one of the halves of one pill, so I hope I remember to take that pill last so I can take all the scrap pieces and hopefully make up for it being crushed and possibly smaller than it's partner side.

I am still trying to get more hours of sleep in as well. Friday and Saturday nights I ended up falling asleep in front of the TV for an hour or two. But, on both days this weekend I didn't take any naps. And, I was pretty busy both days. Hopefully my energy will be more consistent and not non-existent as it was last month.

Am I the only person that HATES Zumba?!? Argh!

How does my neck look? 5/10/11

On this day last year (May 10), I learned that the tumor that was removed with my left thyroid lobe was indeed cancer. It was a week after my first surgery. If I only had one surgery, my scar would probably be a lot thinner and more unnoticeable, to me at least. Anyway, since I didn't post a neck photo on my year anniversary earlier this week from last year to compare with a current neck photo, I thought I should do it now.

All the bruising and swelling along and above the incision site is gone. It took a while for the derma bond tape and the scab to come off. My neck has definitely come a long way in the past year.

How does my neck look?

Vacation activities

It is so nice to be on vacation. It has been pretty relaxing, so far. I have been doing all the driving this trip, and it is finally taking it's toll on me because I am exhausted from driving. Unfortunately for me, I eat to keep myself awake. So when I get tired, if I have nothing to talk about, then I eat. Do not even want to know how much I have gained when I get home next week.

Not trying to focus too much on it, but I think my meds are not working. I'm tired, I'm gaining weight easily, I am having a lot of brain fog issues, and my left eye has been very watery. I just have to see how all my symptoms pan out once I get home, when I am back on my normal daily schedule.

I could use an easy vacation day. Not sure today will be it though. Today, May 6th, is my parent's 51st wedding anniversary. We are celebrating their 50th anniversary now since it was overshadowed with my dad's triple by-pass and my first thyroid surgery last year. 50 years is a long time for anything. I hope that I can remain cancer free for that many years.

One year ago today...

On this day last year my left thyroid lobe was removed. I was nervous. I had to walk down a few hallways to get to the OR. Thank goodness I didn't have to take off my underwear.

It was the start of my thyroid cancer journey. When my surgeon spoke to my mom after my surgery, he told her that everything went well, and that he didn't think it was cancer. But, that wasn't the story my pathology report told a week later when my ENT told me that my 3.2cm tumor was indeed Hurthle cell carcinoma. He said I could seek a second opinion, but all I wanted to know was how soon could he remove the rest of my thyroid, and when would I have my RAI treatment.

I still can't believe all that I had to go through in the past year. The uncertainty. The fear. The emotions. That reminder on my neck that I no longer have a thyroid. That pill that I have to take every day now for the rest of my life. Everyone telling you that things will be alright and having a hard time believing it. The upheaval in my life. There is only so much preparation one can do for these types of things. And even when you think you know everything, you don't. This journey is different for everyone, no matter what kind of cancer you have. I felt like I was marked for the rest of my life, like my thyroid cancer was always going to be hanging over my head, that I couldn't do anything but live in fear of my cancer. I see where that kind of thinking was wrong because I know now that life does exist after thyroid cancer.

One thing that is certain is that it can come back. If I could choose between having every side affect from RAI and thyroid meds with the guarantee of it never coming back v. having clean scans and blood work (TSH, FT4, stimulated Tg, TgAB) for 25 years but it comes back all over the place, I'd take the latter. I'd prefer to enjoy my life now, really take it in, so that when it finally came back, I knew I did everything I wanted to do and had no regrets. So sure, come and get me. I see nothing good about suffering with side affects for the rest of my life, even if it never came back.

One day at a time, one year at a time. I still don't know everything about my cancer. I'm still not done battling my cancer. But I have survived a year now. That is something.

Vacation

I am finally on vacation. Relaxing. It snowed here this past weekend, so there is still some snow on the ground and on the hills surrounding the resort. Looking forward to exploring the area and taking a lot of pictures.