My latest freak out issue is what if I need to go through surgery again? I don't want to do that again. Or, what if I have to have surgery and RAI every year?

Got a call from my ENDO's office. She said both my ENDO & ENT agree that I need a follow-up ultrasound. Right, it has already been scheduled for Jan 27.

Last year's blood work

I finally found my lab report from last November - I thought I lost it! To review, last November (2009), at my annual check up, my PCP noticed that the left side of my thyroid was larger that it should be. Included in my blood work were my TSH, Free T4, and Total T3. My ENDO has not requested a Total T3 yet, so I have no idea what my current numbers are for that, but below are the results from last year and my current levels for TSH and FT4:

Blood work 11/09
TSH 2.25 (range .34 - 4.82)
FT4 .72 (range .55 - 1.20)
TT3 124 (range (60-181)

So, my levels look great, don't they? But we all know now that there was something really wrong going on with my thyroid. I remember being told that my levels were within range, and this is probably why my ENDO thought, earlier this year, that it was probably benign, and he'd just have to watch it to make sure it didn't grow, or turn malignant. So keep in mind that even if your thyroid levels look fine, there could be something really wrong going on with it.

Blood work 12/10
TSH .01 (range .35 - 5.5)
FT4 1.9 (range .7 - 1.5)

My ENDO wants my TSH below 1.0, which I still think is way too high. Everything I have read and everyone on the ThyCa listserv and in my support group meetings have all been told that it needs to be below .5, to be safe; less than .01 is too low. My FT4 is still too high; to bring it down, T4 dosage (Levoxyl, Synthroid, Armour, etc.) is usually reduced. However, lowering my Levoxyl dosage still has not lowered my FT4 level. I am at 125mcg right now. I'm suffering from really bad Thyroid brain fog right now, but not sure what is causing it yet.

How does my neck look? 12/26/10

It's been too long since my last scar post. I did manage to take a few shots of my scar since the last post, but just never got around to uploading and commenting on it. This one it taken from a lower angle than usual. I seem to use more photos of my scar that are taken looking down on the scar as opposed to looking straight on, or from a lower angle. I've been trying to find a good one that shows the redder tone of my scar, but it never seems to look that red in any of the photos. I saw some photos from May, when my sisters were in town after my first surgery. Wow - it was very prominent, dark, and looked thicker. It is amazing how much better it looks seven months later. How did people not see it before? I wasn't hiding out at home the whole time, and I most definitely did not cover it up! Interesting. Anyway, how does my neck look?

Merry Christmas!

Back in May, when I was going through my surgeries and the realization that I had not one, but two kinds of thyroid cancer, Christmas seemed so far away. It was the last thing on my mind. Now that is it Christmas, it is still the last thing on my mind. But I have to pause and remember how blessed I am. No matter what kind of a year you have had (I bet you can't top mine this year!!!), remember to enjoy the holidays, your family, and your health.

Not much of a run this evening. Still don't like the way the Nike Lunar shoes feel on my feet. I like the Lunar Trainers I own, but these other ones not so much

Financial relief: My 401k hardship withdrawal was approved! I can pay off my last two medical bills tomorrow. Another thing I can now put behind me for this yr.

Rain and radiology appts

It has been raining non-stop here since this past weekend. The only good thing about it is that it has not been too cold this whole time. It should start to clear up on Thursday, but it is not soon enough. Not too big on running in the rain, and that is most likely what I will be doing at run club this evening. It is also a shoe-trial run (Nike Lunar Eclipse, or something like that), so I wonder if we will still get to run in the trial shoes if the shoes are certain to come back wet and muddy.

Finally got a call from the radiology dept for my follow up ultrasound. Once again I will have my mammogram and neck ultrasound back to back, this time on January 27. Last year, I did the same thing for my first mammogram and neck ultrasound. Hopefully the ultrasound results this time will be a lot better than the results from last year - a few hours after my ultrasound, my doctor's office called to let me know that I had a "left thyroid mass", and they were sending me to specialist. I remember being a little shocked to hear that it wasn't really a roll of fat on my neck, but I also remember not feeling comfortable hearing more words I didn't understand, "left....thyroid....mass...WTF!" was all I could think after that call.

Yeah, I know I can't do anything (like freak out about it) until I have the ultrasound and get the results, but that doesn't mean I won't worry or think about it. Rest assured I am not losing any sleep over it. But, it would have been nice to finish this too eventful year with a positive health outlook. Instead, not only do I end the year with uncertainty, next year has the potential of starting out sucking just as well. You know, I used to say I didn't want to live past 50 so I could completely avoid the downward health spiral that returns the elderly to diapers, but now I wish I had said 40 because then I would have never had to live through this year. Right, another year, another challenge. If I ever thought my life was boring before, nothing will ever compare to the excitement and anxiety I had this year.

So much for getting a picture of the lunar eclipse tonight - can't see anything with all the rain coming down.

Any idea what $55 worth of ribbon looks like? 22 yards with loads of glitter everywhere! It should last me a couple of Christmas', random birthdays, holidays.

Of course, both my PCP and Chiro say not to worry about the scar tissue thing. Would be nice if someone else other than me got freaked out about this stuff.

When my technology fails me

With all the convenience of today's technology, it never seems to surprise me how often it can fail us. Just this past weekend both our wireless printer and DSL modem went out. We got a new Canon Pixma wireless printer and DSL modem/wireless router, I got every thing set up on the wireless network, but we can't seem to receive faxes on the new machine. I'm still not sure that I'm happy with the Canon printer; I still wonder if I should have gone with the Epson Artisan as planned. If I can't get the fax thing going, I may just have to try out the Epson. And if the Epson doesn't work out, then I guess we go back to HP, try out one of their new ePrint machines. Something's gotta work.

ENDO says - part 6

My ultrasound results are probably scar tissue since Tg/TgAB levels are undetectable. But he would like to do another ultrasound in 6 weeks to see if there are any changes to it or not, and also because the Radiologist was not completely confident that it is scar tissue. He said he'll keep my surgeon in the loop, but didn't think I have anything to worry about, he just wanted to be thorough.

For the record, he's only been right once out of three times (CT scan) when he said he didn't think I had anything to worry about.

Another week full of Dr appts. Monday ultrasound appt. Today it's my Dad's Coumadin appt. Tomorrow, annual PCP check-up appt then a chiro appt.

New Levoxyl dosage

My 125mcg pills came in the mail today, so I get to start those tomorrow morning. Hopefully I won't need to go on a lower dose - waste to have so many unused RX bottles.

ENDO says - part 5

My ENDO appt last Friday went well. Never got around to reporting about it this past weekend, so I'll do so now.

My FT4 is still above the range, but he lowered my Levoxyl dosage to 125mcg, and wanted to see how things were in three months. He explained that he started me at a pretty high dose (175mcg), but I seemed to have adjusted to the medication, and he was bringing it down until my levels were good. My symptoms have gotten better (yes, actually had to think about it when he asked how my hypo symptoms were). Well, I have been feeling really drained in the afternoons, but that could also be from lack of sleep and stress, so I didn't say anything. He said I may end up alternating between 125mcg and 137mcg, depending on what my labs looked like in March.

What questions did I have, he asked.....well, I had a few:
1. My second surgery report said I possibly had Hashimoto's on the right side of my thyroid. What about Tg antibodies? Should I be tested for that? He said they normally check for that when you still have a thyroid with a Tg TPO test, or something like that. As for the antibodies, he said he's been running Tg and TgAB tests with all my blood work, and they have all come back, for both, as undetectable.
It would've been nice to know, before now, that he was running both tests at the same time.
2. My papillary tumors were pretty small, but everyone I know (in my ThyCa support group) that had PC tumors also had lymph node invasion. Should I be worried about that? - No, he said, because it would've shown up on my Tg and TgAB tests that he's been doing. He suggested doing a neck ultrasound, to further prove remission. I was happy to hear that, but a little worried that he wasn't even going to do one, when I know that it is routine 6 months after thyroidectomy. So I didn't have to ask this question.
3. How important is it that my FT4 be within range as long as the TSH is where it needs to be? His range for my TSH is below 1 (or was that .1?). Since he started at a high T4 (Levoxyl) dosage for me, that's why he was still lowering it, to bring the FT4 into range.

Before I left, my ENDO mentioned that one of his associates (another Dr in the bldg) said he heard that one of his high school classmates, me, was one of his patients. I was a bit stunned as to how or why I even came up as a topic between them. Well, I don't know who's fingers I'm going to have to break now for that breech of info. First of all, my family doesn't even know the name of my ENDO. Second of all, I don't even talk to anyone from high school or that I went to college with along with the doc in question, so exactly who said something to him is beyond me, but needs a serious beating. Ok, in all honesty, I'd just wish them a really slow, painful death, unless the person who ratted me out is someone I really don't care for - then obviously a beating of some sort would be called for. I felt so violated when I heard those words come out of my ENDO's mouth because I have shared my thyroid cancer journey with only a handful of people outside of my family and really none of them knew me in high school. Well, my ENDO said not to worry because no patient privacy info was breached. I hope not because then I'd really have to find myself a new ENDO.

So, my ENDO had some pretty good news and some pretty shocking news for me last Friday.

Neck ultrasound.... They saw something subtle on right side - could be remnant thyroid, scar tissue....or...??? That's all they could tell me.

Ultrasound appt for my neck. Routine, six months post thyroidectomy.

ENDO appt in a few mins. Just saw my labs from last Friday - TSH .01, FT4 1.8 (1.9 last month). Wonder what he'll say this time.

Why did I cry?

Yesterday during the train ride to LA for my review, I was dreading my 30 minute performance evaluation with my boss. I like meeting with my boss, I just don't think I had as stellar of a year as I did last year or the year before. I'm finally enjoying my job, yet I could not make a dent in the main project that I was charged with. Not so good. And it did not help that I was out for four months.

During my review, which thankfully happened after the holiday gorging fest at a Brazilian steak house, she asked me why I thought I fell short this year. Oh, why did she ask me that question?!? I got a few words out, then just got choked up and started to cry. I wasn't sure if I was crying because I had to actually tell her why my work sucked or if I was embarrassed that I was actually crying because my work sucked. She also wanted to know how those four months that I was out would have made a difference in my accomplishments this year. No one will ever know what could have happened if I wasn't out, but I really just wanted those four months back.

On the train ride home, I tried to figure out why those four months were so significant that I had to cry about it, in front of my boss no less. Well, I want those four months back because they were the hardest ones I have had to live through. Sometimes I wish I could trade four months of hard work being thrown down the drain so long as I never had to hear the words, "It came back positive for cancer." That is why. Because despite the fact that I have accepted that I have thyroid cancer, and have moved on, some part of me still hates the fact that my life is now dictated by a pill that I have to take for the rest of my life. My life stood still for four months this year as I went from girl with inconclusive FNA, to girl with two flavors of ThyCa, to LID, to, RAI, to a CT scan, to TSH and FT4 levels that are not cooperating. There are a ton of other things I would have rather done in those four agonizing yet defining months. That is why I cried.

How does my neck look? 12/9/10

Been pretty busy lately, so I have not taken too many pictures of my scar. It has looked a little on the reddish side lately - maybe from the cold weather? Anyway, how does my neck look?

On a train heading to LA for my performance evaluation and the holiday lunch (Fogo de Chao) for all the SoCal offices. Not expecting much from my eval.

This evening is my first ThyCa support group meeting as a facilitator. I'll be running the show on my own as the other four facilitators can't make it tonight.

I have a cold....

I've been sniffling and sneezing since this past weekend, and it has not gotten better. I had a sore throat for a few of those days at the beginning. I'm constantly feeling cold...Ok, cold, so could I also be hypothyroid?!?, despite the change in my meds a few weeks ago? I got my flu vaccination back in October, so I'm hoping I will be able to avoid getting that sick this season.

I woke up this morning thankful that I'm still on vacation today because I didn't think I'd be able to get up and get ready for work. Been feeling a little better, but now I also feel a bit lightheaded. If things don't turnaround by tomorrow morning, I'll probably call in sick as there is nothing more gross to hear at work other than someone having a hard time breathing, sneezing, and continually blowing their nose!

I'm running with who?!?

At RunClub this evening, I got to run with a lady that runs for Nike. We were asking about her best races - she ran the Boston Marathon finishing, I think she said, in the top 18 overall for women; she's running the Las Vegas Rock n Roll marathon next weekend. She runs about a 6:30 pace, so by the time I finish a mile, the has already finished two miles. She's hoping to make the Olympic marathon trials next year - she said she has to bring her pace down to 6:24 or 6:23 per mile. Wow. As much as it was intimidating having to run with her (or rather, behind her), it was also inspiring to hear how she trains, what she eats (the night before, the morning of a race), and how she got to where she is. 

In other news, we got a VitaMix machine today! I tried to make tortilla soup in it. It wasn't quite as good as what the demonstration lady made, but it was still pretty good. We can even make ice cream in it! I'm really excited about it, and hope we get a lot of good use out of it. It'll come in really handy for me next spring when I'm on the LID (low-iodine diet) before my 1-yr whole body scan. I can make my own almond milk, which will be good since I won't be able to have any dairy products while I'm on the LID.

Just the news I really needed to get today! - my application for financial aid from my hospital was approved for partial coverage. I only owe $993 now. Relief.

Angelo...

Interesting outcome for Angelo. His hair is sooooo soft now. He looks like a much different dog now - I can see both of his eyes, his paws are brindled, resembling a Dalmatian's markings, and he has a bit of a zig zag pattern made of the gray spots on his back! Tess told me that he thinks he was brought here for me. Hmmmm....not sure what my brother would say to that. But, when he finally settled down when we got home this evening, he kept on following me around. So I grabbed an old towel and let him sit on it while I worked on my laptop. The only time he'd leave it was when I got up to get something from the printer or to eat. He does seem a bit attached to me now.

 

Oh yeah, multivitamins!

Aside from the PMS symptoms messing with my energy level last earlier this month, I think I may have been feeling tired the past few weeks because I had not been taking my multivitamins! For a couple of weeks there, I went somewhere straight from work, ate on the road (or later in the evening when I finally got home). As a result, I would completely forget to take my multivitamins. So, this past week, I started to take them again. I did end up rather drained a few afternoons over the holidays, ending up taking a nap, but I also went to sleep late each night that my brother and nephews were in town. And now that they are back in their own time zone, I am feeling a little more energetic. Well, then again, that could also be because I am on vacation for a few days.

Other than that, I have been getting that weird feeling along my scar, in the mornings, esp first thing when I get up, or after taking a nap. Still can't pin point why I get that odd feeling along that area. Is it cold weather? the act of sitting up? or just the scar trying to finish healing?!? I'll have to take note if happens at any other time(s) during the day.

So much for climbing this evening. Tess called because Angelo is afraid of the clippers, so they have to hand cut everything. Poor thing. So I wait...

Just dropped off Angelo, my bother's Shih Tzu, with Tess. She's going to take off all the dreadlocks and matted hair. "We are going to start all over", she said.

On vacation until Thursday. At my WW meeting, we started a new program, so I need to learn all the new points values and what not. Excited. Hope I do better.

How does my neck look? 11/25/10

Happy Thanksgiving! I have a lot of different things to be thankful for this year. I hope that everyone is having a good holiday with family and friends.

A few days ago my scar looked a little red. Today, it looks pretty good, for a scar. I am thankful that my scar, to most, looks undetectable. I am thankful for the story behind it - that I got it taken care of, that my surgeon had skilled hands, that so far my treatments have been successful. So tell me what are you thankful for this year, and how does my neck look?

"Spreading the joy around..." what my brother does when he leaves you a 'silent but deadly', in a store no less, and everyone thinks you did it.

End of another weekend

It is Sunday night, and I am still in recovery mode from this past week. I had a short day working from home on Friday since I had to take my dad to a Dr appt, then I had a chiro appt. Still stiff along the left side, and now a little on the right (neck & shoulder). Work stress is really getting to me, so it's good I had a fun outlet Friday evening. Yes, I went climbing again.

It is nice to have a venue change every now and then, different routes and different people to watch climb. This one guy, Aki, did a few hard lead routes, one of which crossed the ceiling of the lead route cave. Wow. I only got to see him finish it since I was on my way up a top rope route just outside of the cave. And there was a little kid that was working on what I think was a 5.8 or 5.9 route. I'm still sticking to the white routes, which Serena tells me are about 5.5 or 5.6. There's one route I call the 'Batman route' because the first time I attempted it, last week, it reminded me of the Batman TV show, when Batman and Robin would be scaling the side of a building - the wall slants back, so at times I feel like I am trying to ascend it, much like Batman, because of the awkward way I end up hanging off the wall at that angle. Once again, I wasn't able to get too far up this route. No worries though, another day, another time. Anyway, Serena is in Australia for the next two weeks, so not sure if I'll be climbing at all, esp since this week is Thanksgiving. Not sure if the guys will be going or not on Tuesday. My bro' and nephews are here for the holidays, and some of them are interested in trying out rock climbing, so we may go to the rock gym and let them give it a go. And if I don't get a climbing day in before she gets back, then maybe I can finally get a much needed manicure - climbing really thrashes my nails. Can't believe I just wrote that, but it is true.

Saturday it rained, and rained, and rained. I made it to the last photography class for this session. This class was on filters. I keep on thinking about getting a polarizing filter. I had one, but returned it because I thought having two filters was over kill since I had just purchased my NEX-5. I kick myself now, but I'll get another one, eventually. I also managed to get an afternoon nap in, then a pedicure.

Sunday, did the normal pilates and things workout. I was exhausted and had a bit of a headache when I got home. Didn't feel as bad as I did last weekend when I went straight from pilates to climbing, but still ended up napping for an hour or so when I got home, in both cases.

Since I didn't find out until Friday that my brother was arriving, for the holiday, today (Sunday), I didn't have time to ask if I could switch my vacation days from Friday-Thursday to Monday (tomorrow)-Friday. So, unfortunately I have to work Monday-Wednesday this week. Not a problem though since I've got a lot of work to do on my two projects and a few side things I'd like to get done as well. I also have to submit my 'accomplishments' for the year to my boss by November 30th. I don't think she'll find much merit in 'conquering thyroid cancer', so I need to accomplish a few more things by Wednesday, before I go on vacation. So much to do, so little time.

I've been on my lower Levoxyl dosage for over a week now, but I don't think my body will see the difference until a few more weeks from now. I'm not even sure if it would have kicked in by the time I have my next blood draw on Dec 3. I do know that I have been tired lately, but still can't rule out my environment (bad weather, PMS) as part of the way I feel. So, to be continued....

Longer day than I had hoped for. Got a lot done, meeting-wise, but we didn't finish until 5:30pm, so here I am eating sushi to wait out traffic from Brea.

Return to exhaustion

I'm not sure if I'm tired because of all the activities I've been doing lately, if it is my decreased Levoxyl dosage, or what. At the beginning of last week, I thought it was just PMS. I started my new, lower Levoxyl dosage on Friday, so it really shouldn't kick into my system until Thursday or Friday this week since the T4 stays in our bodies for about 6-7 days. I went climbing twice this past weekend. I was still a little sore from Friday night on Sunday (or was that from having my NEX-5 in my purse most of the day as I walked around the photo expo and the outlet mall?!?) after pilates.

I definitely got more climbs in on Sunday since I was switching off with one of the guys instead of with Serena and someone else. I even conquered a route with an overhang! It took a bit longer than most people, I'm sure, but I didn't give up, and I eventually made it up to the top, not on the route I selected (relax, I'm only doing white, not even close to doing anything in the more advanced ones 5.8 - 5.11). To keep my head at a reasonable size for my beginner level, there was a kid party at the gym too, so a few times I had this little girl climbing up behind or next to me. I got really sick of that girl always being on my tail - really, find some other wall to climb, little girl. Or try climbing at my age after the year I've had. Ugh!

So at work today, I was having a hard time concentrating and getting anything done. Most of the time I really just wanted to go to sleep. I was reading up on some SharePoint stuff, which I mostly find interesting (and it better be because it's mainly what I'm working on now!), but I think it was putting me to sleep. I'm going up to Brea Thursday to meet with a co-worker to go over our two projects, well, I guess to go over all of the SharePoint projects for our dept. It'll be nice to not have to navigate everything on my own. I think our individual experiences with SharePoint complements that of the other, so we should be able to get a lot done, if we get along. I don't mean that in a negative way, we just have very different work styles, so it will be interesting to see how well this goes.

This should at least keep me adequately distracted until my ENDO appt next month. Still kicking around the idea of going back to my 2nd opinion ENDO to see what she'd do about my TSH and FT4 levels not responding properly to the lower dosages of T4. I'm not too worried, Ok, I lie, I still am a little worried about my T4 dosage going down which is making my TSH, not my FT4, go down. My worry is that if my ENDO goes any lower, maybe my TSH won't be suppressed enough (despite the fact that it is still dropping, maybe the labs are wrong?!?), and the next thing I know, I've got recurrence or mets elsewhere in my body. Would that mean another surgery and/or another round of RAI? I think I just need someone (another ThyCan) to tell me the same thing happened to them and it was only temporary, and someone else (my ENDO) to tell me why this is happening and what I can expect. Maybe this is why I'm so tired again?

TSH level

Interesting: Just noticed my TSH lab info was posted online by my ENDO. As I expected, my TSH is now less than .01
How crazy is that?

Pretty full weekend. Started new Levoxyl dosage on Friday, rock climbing. Saturday photo expo, outlet shopping. Sunday Pilates, more rock climbing. I'm tired.

"Cranberry mustard".....sounds like it'd taste good, right? Not really.

Rock climbing achievement!

I was late meeting my friend at the rock climbing gym this evening, so I didn't get a lot of climbs in, but I did manage to conquer a slope on my last climb. I was almost ready to give up too, not because my arms and legs were too tired to continue, but because I didn't think I could reach the last couple of holds before reaching the top. I was stuck right above the sloped part (yes, a backward slope). Luckily this time when she yelled up at me to help me figure out where to place my hands and feet so I could advance, I was able to do it. I'd say about 90% of the time when someone tries to help me get unstuck on the wall, my body doesn't think it can move the way they are telling me to go so that I can get further up the wall. I may try a few times, unsuccessfully, then give up and have them bring me down. But not this time! I was really proud of myself for making it all the way up. Yay!

Another accomplishment is that I am on my way to becoming a co-facilitator for my ThyCa support group. There is a training call this weekend, then a facilitator conference call in a few weeks. It is a volunteer job, but I'm glad I have this opportunity to help out others who have to walk on the same thyca path as myself. My first meeting as a co-facilitator will be next month, on Dec 7th.

My ENDO didn't request anything but the FT4 test, according to his assistant. Weird, because I thought I saw three vials when my blood was drawn last Friday.

Well, my FT4 level this time went up from 1.6 to 1.9
My ENDO is decreasing my Levoxyl dosage down to 137mcg. Wonder what my TSH level was.

How does my neck look? 11/7/10

When I was at Noah's yesterday to give Frankie a bath, both Hannah and Megan said they could barely see my scar. I guess they can't see it, but I still can. But if they can't see it, then probably a lot of other people (esp those who don't know what I had gone through this past summer) also cannot see it. Yippee! I have been getting that tingling feeling along my scar, not every day, but once every couple of days. Still don't know what that is all about. But what do you think? - How does my neck look?

So, the close to another weekend. This one included the time change, the end of day light savings. Run club should be interesting this week. I was told they are going to give us little (Nike) flashing lights or reflectors to put on our shoe laces so we could have some light as we run in the dark. I hope so. I remember it got pretty scary out there last year, esp when no cars were passing by.

Thank goodness for my chiro appt on Friday! My neck and shoulder felt so much better afterward. I could still feel the tension in my shoulder when I got to the rock climbing gym, but the pain was gone. My chiro told me to move my telephone and mouse at work to the other side - right now both are on my left side - until the pain went away. And, I'm going back this Friday in addition to my appt next Friday. The rest of the weekend it felt pretty good. Every now and then I'd feel something on my neck or left shoulder, but it didn't last very long.

Last night we were out late shooting night shots. We were on Coronado taking shots of the downtown skyline, then at the Hotel del where we discovered that the breaking waves were intermittently light up by this pretty blue color. We still don't know how they were being light up that way, but we got photos of it. We also took some shots writing with light - can't remember what the actual name of this technique is called, but some of my shots turned out Ok.

I managed to get a lot crammed into this past weekend. I'm exhausted. Starting to think about my work week. I'm looking forward to finding out the results from my blood draw this past Friday. Crossing my fingers for TSH and FT4 levels that make sense, and are where they need to be.

Although I feel really hypothyroid, it's probably just really bad PMS. No crying or depression but I'm craving greasy/fatty foods and am completely exhausted.

Activities

Red stained foot from my climbing shoes

I'm still trying to get my workout routine down. No, I have not added on a weekly yoga class, but I am at least getting in one climbing day every other week or so. This week I get to go twice since I went Tuesday night and plan to go again Friday after my chiro appt. My climbing friend will be in Australia for a family reunion over the Thanksgiving holiday, so I think I may try to take a climbing class through REI one of those weekends. The class takes place outdoors, at a local rock climbing area. I figure by then I may have picked up enough technique at the rock gym to be able to scale something outdoors.

Running. Here is my heart break. I really need to get in more than one day of running a week, or I'll never be able to go longer or farther. At this time last year I was already running 3 miles without stopping. I know, my serious runner friends will chuckle at that, but that was saying a lot last year just three months into running, with my weight, knee issues, etc. Every now and then I am able to do a little over a mile on my Wednesday night run club outings, but have not quite made it to the 1.5mi mark. But last night (Wed), I finally did it, in fact I made it to the 2mi mark!

I'm not quite back to where I was in pilates before my surgery either. It seems every time I miss a class (Th or Su), it takes a lot more to make it up. I just try to do the best I can though, and listen to my body (or my cramping legs/feet). The most important thing is that I am going to pilates at least once a week, but twice a week most weeks.

Good thing I at least have these activities to distract me. I have been feeling really stressed at work lately. I always have to take off time for something - some medical appt whether it is my own or for one of my parents. My boss is Ok with it, but I feel like I'm not getting enough time to do all my work. I haven't even worked on the redesign project since the off-site meeting last month. Something always seems to come up during the day. Last week my boss asked me about restructuring our group, if say I were to report to someone else on a dotted line (but still to her, ultimately) and be on the more technical side of our team. I started to get heart palpitations afterward, which have continued into this week I have not had that sensation in my chest (over my heart) since before my surgeries in May. And, I'm getting the neck (left side) and shoulder tension (both side) issues again. I can feel it when I run and when I climb. I need to remember to leave my work stress at work, and be more present in my other activities. Have fun again. And if all of that fails, I at least have a chiro appt Friday afternoon, so he can fix it for me.

More info on my levels: from my ThyCa email group, the thought is that the reading was wrong or my ENDO suspects something, hence the extra draw this month.

"Low metabolism".... means new shoes?

Today at my WW meeting I shared my ThyCa experience with the group. I decided to just because the topic was metabolism, and there was a lot of talk about how people say their metabolism is s/low. I was a victim of slow metabolism as I could not, for years, take off the weight. Well, I also love to eat food, but no matter how much I exercised or ate what I thought was a healthy diet, since 1997 I had problems losing weight, but no problem at all putting it on. So I explained how and why my thyroid problem was found, all the way up to my two surgeries. But what I really wanted to share with the group was that one of the Thyroid disease books I bought actually named Weight Watchers as being a recommended program to help with weight maintenance if you are hypothyroid. So although I joined before I even knew about my disease, I was already going in the right direction.

As much as I want to do well again on WW, I have to admit I am struggling, and this is only the start of week #2 for me. Somehow I did manage to drop three pounds. But I have to preface that with the fact that I decided to eat like I had no cares in the world the week before I joined so I could get all my cravings out of my system. I don't think that worked too well because right now I would really like to eat some creamy brie cheese with Trader Joe's Kalamata Olive bread, or a giant tub of PinkBerry plain tart froyo, or.... pretty much anything and everything that is now off limits, or rather put into moderation. ARGH! I just have to keep in mind that if I did stay on track last week, perhaps I would have lost five or more pounds....

So I turned to retail therapy to help motivate me. Yes, I bought another pair of 'toning' shoes. I have a pair of the Reebok EasyTone shoes that I got last year before Thanksgiving. Those shoes are Ok, but now I can leave them at home and use my new pair at work, or vice versa. The new pair I got are by New Balance, the 850 TrueBalance shoes. Much different technology than the Reeboks. My hams were sore after my walk this evening, so I guess they are working! So I have a new pair of walking shoes. I think I may need another pair of running shoes too, but I think I'll give it a couple more weeks before I start seriously thinking about new running shoes.

Tomorrow is Election Day, so remember to vote!

Happy Halloween!

Once again, I wasn't really into the Halloween thing this year. It has been a while since I even dressed up. The last couple of years I have been passing out candy, the best part of course is seeing all the clever costumes. This year I missed even that since I had to run some errands this evening.

Otherwise, it has been an exhausting weekend. Not sure if it was my lack of sleep all this past week or what. Both afternoons I ended up crashed out on the couch for a couple of hours. I have also had chest pains / heart palpitations for the past three or four days. I have not had this issue since before my surgeries in May. I can't help but wonder of my thyroid med is behind all of this. Did i just have way too much Starbucks or could it be stress from work? I don't know. I'm planning on having my blood draw for the month (November) this Friday. If anything, that could possibly tell the story for my ENDO.

I was happy to see somewhat of an explanation on my ThyCa email group for very low TSH and above normal Free T4. Her levels are TSH .06 / FT4 1.8 where mine are TSH .01 / FT4 1.6  Supposedly, this is ideal if you are considered higher risk. I'm not sure what risk level my ENDO thinks I am, but based on everything he has told me, I thought he had me at a more low risk level if anything, maybe due to my age. I am still not understanding why lowering my Levoxyl dose should decrease my TSH - shouldn't it increase it? For example, when your TSH is too high, they increase your T4 med. So why then did the decrease lower my my TSH and not my FT4? I am still puzzled.

ThyCa meeting - October 28, 2010

Another good meeting! I always feel energized after my support group meetings because I'm talking to people who have gone through the same things I have, whether it was a few years ago or even a month or two after I started my ThyCa journey. No one else could ever know what we have to go through - the fears, the frustrations, the very fact that not a lot of ENDOs here in SD are very well versed in ThyCa, and countless people telling us that we have "the best/good/easy cancer to have"....

What we have in our group is recurrence, repeat scans, ENDOs that don't know what they are doing, advocacy. Somewhere along our journeys we all come to realize that no one is looking out for us, so it is up to us to ask, repeatedly, if necessary; to question if we don't understand (our treatments or test results) or if it is not protocol that we know is expected. I'm getting to a point where I really think I need someone else to look at my blood levels and my scans because I'm still not sure my ENDO knows what he's doing.

Anyway, we had a good turn out last night. Several had attended the annual ThyCa conference in TX two weekends ago, so they shared some of what they learned/heard. I'm still bummed that I missed the session that addressed Hurthle cell and some of the other papillary and follicular variants. I guess I'll just have to wait for next year, which I have just learned will be in Los Angeles over the same weekend next year. So, mandatory departmental meeting or not, I'm going to LA for next years' conference!

Dietary changes

In anticipation of rejoining the Weight Watcher at Work program at work this week, I've been eating anything and everything I craved for the past month. Even knowing that the first meeting was this past Monday (10/25), I allowed myself to slip on Monday since I'm still in bday celebration mode - still enjoying bday lunches & dinners, etc. But I can't do that for the rest of the week, not if I plan to actually lose weight. The nice thing about the WW program is that you don't need to strive to be perfect, just consistent - about tracking your food intake and exercising. I wonder how much an hour of rock climbing will earn in 'activity points'. Anyway, I need this so I can survive the holidays this year without gaining all the weight back (28 lbs!) that I lost on WW earlier this year.

Not only am I changing my eating habits, I am also changing Frankie's eating habits. After his GI bleeding episode earlier this month, I realized how important it is for not only me, but my dog to eat fresh, whole foods. He still needs to finish his 'low residue' canned food (prescribed by the Vet for his GI issues), but I'm slowly weaning him off that and transitioning him to a 'RAW' dog food called "Sojos Complete". It costs about the same as his old dry food, EVO Chicken and Turkey, so I will be spending about the same, I think. The food is re-hydrated with water. So far he likes the food. I think it smells a lot like 'Stove-Top Stuffing', but that does not matter, so long as he eats his food.

How does my neck look? 10/24/10

How does the neck of a 41 year old ThyCa patient look?

Happy United Nations Day!

Climbing shoes...

I ended up buying a pair of rock climbing shoes at REI when I was in SF this past weekend. There wasn't much of a selection in my size, for women's or unisex shoes, so the rock shoe guy told me to take the bigger size, and if they ended up being too big, take 'em back. So I made sure I stopped by REI before going climbing last night. I had the local rock shoe guy take out as many different shoes as possible - I even tried on a pair with velcro. Both rock shoe guys had different ideas as to why I should wear a certain kind of shoe (get a 'flat pair', which are easier for beginning climbers to get used to, or 'an air pocket' around my foot/heel means the shoe is too big), but the big thing is that I need to wear them sock-less (yes, that would be bare skin on leather), and it is perfectly fine to remove your climbing shoes between scaling the rocks/walls. In the end, I ended up with a 'more advanced' shoe that turns my feet red after climbing, and I saved $27!

I tried them out last night too. Not bad. I must say that climbing sock-less feels much different than with socks. One of the guys I was climbing with said he was glad to see I got a pair of climbing shoes because it meant that I was committed. You bet!

ENDO says - part 4

I was a little nervous about my ENDO appt yesterday, but it turned out that he just wanted clarification on my current symptoms. Whew!

I asked what my goal TSH level is, which he said was below 1 (currently it is .01). We went over my current symptoms - not as exhausted, able to sleep more than four hours a night, periods still not regular (although when were they ever regular?!?), depression and crying for no reason all attributed to severe PMS, still have cramping in my legs and feet during pilates, after running, and sometimes while rock climbing. So far he thinks he may need to reduce my Levoxyl dosage to 137mcg, but wants to see what my blood work looks like next month and then again a week before my appt in December.

Otherwise, he is still happy about my treatment thus far. My one year body scan will be next May - one year after my surgery. So far, so good.

Interesting: Call from ENDO's office to go in @ 2pm today. WTF - not what I expected after the call I got from them last Friday. Not sure what to think now.

How does my neck look? 10/18/10

It's been five months since my second surgery. I sometimes forget how much I have gone through in the past six months. I wonder how I will feel about everything seven months from now, 43 months from now, 10 years from now.

The cool thing about hanging out with Viv for a weekend is that we revisit our lives from 17 years ago (when we took a trip to SF over my bday weekend and I decided on the flight back that I'd move to SF with her), up to the time when I left to move back to SD. How much different were we then than we are now. What would have still happened if we both stayed in SF. We both agree that I would still have discovered that I had ThyCa, but she thinks perhaps it would have been detected sooner. I don't know. I imagine it may have presented itself in a different manner, but the surgery, RAI, and everything else would have happened around the same time.

What I'm pretty sure would have been different is my life style in SF. Would it still have been miserable? That would depend on my work and home life. Would I have the same job I have now? Doubtful. But hopefully I would have managed to buy a condo or a house somewhere in the city. Viv said that if I stayed, she would have too. I definitely know that my support group under ThyCa conditions would be as good as they were, if not better so long as I had my sister with me. No doubt.

Anyway, it didn't happen that way. Last year I had other things to worry about, we all did. But so much can change in a year. If you can remember what my neck looked like last year or even several years ago, tell me how you think it looks now.

Sadly, my vacation is coming to an end. Waiting to board flight back to SD (and reality). It was a fun, relaxing weekend. Glad I could get away before my bday.

Rainy SF Sunday

This morning was the first time in a long time that I woke up on a weekend morning and just stayed in bed. The rainy SF weather wasn't helping, neither was my sister, Viv, who continued to sleep peacefully as I stirred. No problem though, as we've been running around town the past few days.

I arrived late Thursday night, but I still managed to arrive at SFO before my boss and co-workers who we saw and chatted with at the curb-side before we left. Friday was a somewhat sunny day, depending on what part of town we were in. We had brunch at Sally's (I've been wanting to eat there since before I left SF six years ago, so was glad when Viv suggested it). I talked her into getting a new cell phone, so we went to the Daly City Sprint store to get her new EVO 4G. She showed me how to do some photo editing in Photo Shop Elements 9 (PSE), then we tried out a few video chat applications for our EVOs. Pretty cool. However, we can't exactly video chat while we drive, LOL. We ordered delivery from Eat24hours.com. They have service in  SD as well, so I'll have to try it when I get home.

Saturday, we spent a couple of hours at a Ritz Camera University class in Oakland (since I was missing the class I was signed up for back in SD), then we headed back into SF to catch the SF Trolley Dances. I miss all the arts & culture events in SF - in SD, the arts are not as subsidized as it is here in SF, so while the trolley dances in SD cost $10/$15/$20 (St/Sr/Genl), it only cost a Muni ticket ($2.00 for a 3 hour pass/transfer). I love every single piece I've seen in SD, but was left a little cold with everything I saw here. Viv said it's probably because art in SF is more politically charged here. I loved the political piece, but didn't really care for the others. Anyway, it was a good opportunity to take photos. On a side note, as we walked around the Castro before our tour started, we stumbled upon a table with some "Free" books, which included "An irreverent curiosity: in search of the church's strangest relic in Italy's oddest town". In case you were wondering, the relic is Jesus' foreskin. I decided to leave it there, and if it was still there when I came back, I'd take it. Now I wish I took it when I saw it.

Now, it is a cold, wet, SF Sunday morning. We keep on talking ourselves out of leaving the house. I want to visit my friend Monique and meet her new baby, but she has family and in-laws over today. I also want to go back to the Sports Basement to look at climbing shoes and gear. I also want to take more pictures. Viv is now talking coffee, so I guess we are actually going to leave the house now. Yay. Maybe I can even get a used copy of the Jesus foreskin book.....

ENDO says - part 3

Finally heard back from my ENDO's office this morning. Levels slightly above normal (thanks, I already knew that), but no changes; he'll see me in December, as scheduled. What a relief!

I'm still not sure why my FreeT4 would not budge after my Levoxyl dosage was changed, so I'll have to do some research and maybe ask some of the people on my ThyCa listserv for some input. But for now, I'm just glad my ENDO is not worried about it. I can now enjoy my weekend in San Francisco.

Work off-site meeting

Today and tomorrow I'm at my department's "All Hands" meeting. It was a little stressful earlier in the day, but as usual, everything came together after all. We even had a productive team meeting.

I'm still a little worried about Frankie since as of this morning before I left, he had not taken a dump since Monday night. I emailed the vet who wanted to know what it looks like so he can advise me further. I'll have to call Mom and Dad tomorrow morning maybe, if I have time.

I have not heard back from my ENDO's office yet, so I am assuming I don't need to go in earlier than my scheduled December appt. Still seems really odd that my TSH decreased while my FreeT4 didn't budge at all. Will have to google it while I'm waiting for my flight tomorrow night. Meanwhile, hopefully I don't hear from my ENDO's office. I don't think I could handle going through more testing right now, not with my current project load. My boss said it wouldn't make a difference if I had to deal with it now or in two months. Never thought of it that way. I guess I'd rather not have to deal or worry about it, at all.

I do have my weekend in SF to look forward to though, and time spent with Viv and Nick&Jerry's boob-pawing dogs. Hopefully I'll be able to hang with KT as well. Since I'm house/dog-sitting on my bday next weekend, this is my one opportunity to do something for myself.

How does my neck look? 10/11/10

So apparently I have been slacking off with my daily neck pictures. I blame it on work since I used to take my neck pictures first thing when I got up, well, soon after taking my Levoxyl dose for the day. Now that I'm back at work, I have an hour to get up, take care of the dogs (let them out/in, feed them), hop on my WiiFit (to be told that yes, I am still fat), shower, get dressed, and head out the door. Don't even go there with the 'you should go to sleep earlier' bit because that doesn't happen over night - I've been trying to for over three years now! So anyway, I take photos of my neck whenever I remember - sitting at my desk at work, but mostly at home sometime in the evening, if I remember at all.

Since today is a (bank) holiday, I managed to take my neck photo just a few minutes ago. I have to say myself that it is becoming less detectable, in pictures, at least, to me. The mirror still let's me know that it ain't going away any time soon.

My annual Dr. appt this morning turned into just a regular appt since my insurance won't cover it unless it has been exactly a year since my annual appt last year. So that has been rescheduled for Thursday, November 11. I had brought some questions for her, so she was happy to answer what she could. She said my vertigo episode yesterday was very mild, but if it gets worse, come back and she'll look more into it. She ordered my labs, and said she'd include a vitamin D and calcium (been seeing a lot of that on the ThyCa email list I am on), and she said the vitamin D is something new that they are testing for now too. Flu shot - she said to get one, and she threw in the DTaP shot which includes Diptheria, Tetanus, and Pertussis (whooping cough, which is going around here in San Diego) - my last tetanus shot was in 2000, before I went on that archeological dig in Hungary.

We got around to talking about the latest labs I had drawn last week for my TSH/FreeT4. She said my ENDO was requesting my Tg levels, which is why I had not heard back from his office. She said my TSH was .01 (last draw I believe it was .25), but my FreeT4 was 1.67, which she said was the same as it was last time (I'd have to look at my records, but I thought it was more 1.83 or 2.xx last time), so he would most likely need to adjust something, again. Just a few minutes ago I got a call from my ENDO's office. She said my levels were still above normal. She wanted to know what symptoms I have. I said my sleep issue (not being able to sleep longer than 5 hours a night) was improving, I was getting cramping in my legs (not sure it that was related or not), and my period still hadn't come for the month. She said he may want me to come in sooner, but would wait and see what he had to say. Hmm....not sure I liked anything she said.

Anyway, I took my dad out to lunch. I usually end up taking my mom out since we do a lot of stuff together (and my dad usually opts to stay at home). It was nice because I don't usually have a lot of one-on-one time with my dad. We both ate way too much. He's feeling stronger, ready to go back to his part-time job in a few weeks. I must say his attitude is so much more positive than it was 2 1/2 months ago. Yay, Dad!

Anyway, how does my neck look?

Annual Dr appt today. I should probably let her know that I was dizzy most of the day yesterday, but not as bad as the episode two years ago.

Waiting for latest lab results

I finally got around to emailing my ENDO about my latest symptoms and to see if I should go in for another blood draw since I started the new dosage as of August 15. He didn't say anything about my symptoms but said I should have labs drawn again. So that afternoon (Tuesday 10/5), I got the call that the orders for my labs were submitted. So, off I went, to my usual lab to get my bi-monthly jab in the arm. It has been two full days, and no word yet from my ENDO. Hopefully I get the call tomorrow.

In the meantime, I went rock climbing Tuesday evening. I'm still a little sore, even in my legs. And I didn't stretch well enough after run club Wednesday night, so my legs are not very happy with me. But I think I did a lot better, at climbing, this time than the last time I went. I could have just picked two really easy walls to start off with, but I had a lot more confidence in where I was putting my feet and really tried to push myself up with my legs to get to the next hold or grip thing, whatever it is called. I actually got to meet the guy that sets some of the routes and some of the other guys Serena (and her husband) climb with. I got a few more bruises on my arms and legs, but they were worth it.

Run club was a bit of a disaster. Well, only because I left my Nike Sportband at home. I have this little pouch that holds my sportband, my old 1 GB iPod nano & Nike+ adapter, and the cheap stock headphones that used to come with all  iPods, and I left it in my other gym bag. ARGH!!!!. I ended up using the pedometer on my new iPod nano. Better that than nothing, I guess. We all started running in a group, at a faster pace. I was good for about .75 miles, then I slowed down. I jogged and walked the rest of it with the new girl. Turns out she lives in the same neighborhood, and runs at the lake. We are close in pace, so that was comforting. I don't know what my deal was after the run, but I just couldn't get a good enough stretch in. So my body is getting me back now by making me feel that I'm closer to 50 than closer to 41 years.....of being me. Wow - I got calf camps, in both legs, jogging on the treadmill after pilates last night!

With any luck, tomorrow will bring a call from my ENDO's office and much happier leg and arm muscles.

Oh, my dog!

I'm working from home today to keep an eye on Frankie, my dog. He's been having elimination problems. He's had diarrhea on/off since I started back to work. Last week it was black, and he didn't take a dump for four days (Thu-Sun). On Saturday, the vet had me take him off his pain/arthritis med (Metacam) since a side affect is GI bleeding, and put him back on anti-diarrhea meds (Flagyl and a probiotic) + something to help stop the GI bleeding (Sucralfate). Well, he's taken a dump twice in the last 24 hours, the most recent was actually formed, and black and brown, but he also just threw up. So the vet wants to see him. Soonest appt I could get today is at 4pm. I wish I could read Frankie's mind so I knew what was wrong and what I could do to make him feel better. I like to tease my friends with kids because my 'kid' will never ask to borrow the car or wreck said car. Well the down side of it is that he also can't tell me what is wrong and why he's feeling so bad. My poor little guy.

A healthier, happier Frankie - last month at the vet 9/18/10

Tired (of being tired)

All I have been able to talk about on my posts for the last week or so (perhaps even the last month?!?) is how tired I am in the afternoons. I am definitely tired of being tired all the time. Sure, I now have work stress, the monthly cycle coming on, and weather that can't seem to make up its mind, and possibly my thyroid med needing to be adjusted, but really, why is this the one symptom that sticks out for me? Admittedly, it is a lot better than feeling depressed and crying each day, but this is ridiculous.

Going back to pre-thyroid issue awareness, I would always fall asleep each night, waiting to see the weather forecast on the 10pm local news. I'd fall asleep just before the weather and would sleep right through it, for about an hour so I'd also miss the weather on the local 11pm news. This would happen just about every week night. Then I'd end up not being able to sleep until 2am, could barely get up at 6:15am. But amazingly, I'd be fine at work. No problems, not even after a long walk on my lunch break. It would catch up to me on the weekends though. I'd end up sleeping in until 9 or 10am, then often just laying there trying to decide if I should get up or not. On the rare occasion I had to be somewhere earlier than 8am, I would always manage to get up on time for that.

Nowadays, since I have to take my Levoxyl at the same time each day, I have learned to adjust for it. When I started my Levoxyl regimen, I was taking it at 9am, but I was also out on leave. Now I take it at 6am. So if I go to sleep really late on a Friday or Saturday night, I can still manage to get up at 6am the next morning to take my meds, and have recently been able to go back to sleep, but only so long as my total sleeping hours isn't over 5 hours. I don't know, perhaps this could all be sleep related. Hopefully on my next post I'll have something else to report, other than the fact that I'm still tired in the afternoons.

October is here!

Wasn't quite sure how I'd make it through September since it was my first month back at work. I had my ups and my downs, the downs being the afternoon sleepiness that hit me at mid-month. Still not sure what is going on there. I still have the leg cramps, after running and pilates. I'm still trying to get more sleep each night. From what I've been reading on my ThyCa group emails, there is concern over lack of vitamin D and calcium (bone density issues), and athletic ThyCans sometimes need higher does of T4 (Levoxyl, Synthroid, etc.) to keep the TSH level where it needs to be. Since I'm going in for my annual check up with my PCP in a few weeks, I think I'll ask her about testing for vitamin D and calcium, and request a full workup for my labs; all other questions will go to my ENDO.

Holy smokes! - I thought I lost my iPod nano. I accidentally left it at the gym last night. I freaked out when I couldn't find it in my gym bag when I was getting ready to up load my run/walk treadmill workout. Thank goodness a good samaritan at my gym turned it in. I was sure who ever found it would've taken it. As soon as they told me they had it, I went back to the gym to pick it up. So glad I don't have to buy a new one!

The last work day of September was a pretty good one for me. The one thing I love the most about my job is when I uncover a problem and manage to figure it out or fix it all by myself. I had a lot of those moments this week, well, actually I've had several for my first month back, so I actually feel like I do my job well, still, despite the fact that I was gone for four months. Now if I could only just figure out how to do the coding and programming for SharePoint, then I could really make a good case for myself. We had a meeting yesterday morning, one of the topics was what to do about one of the databases (list) I manage. I got a bit lost in the conversation as I had lightning going off outside my office window and a bit of thyroid brain fog competing with the discussion. I came to when one of my co-workers (incidentally I was the only one on the phone for the meeting, everyone else was in SF) asked me what I thought about the plan of action. I heard a few snippets of it, so all I could muster for a reply was "I'll do whatever it takes to get it going", and I then I think I volunteered to go up to one of the LA offices to work on it with said co-worker. Well, the upside is I'm pretty sure I didn't volunteer or agree to anything that would require me to dance on top of tables in a questionable bar somewhere in BFE, so that's a good thing. The potential downside is that I could be driving up to LA for a day or two each week until the end of the year as my boss would like the new incarnation of the database ready by the first quarter of next year. But I'm up for the challenge. As long as my meds are not failing me, I'm good to go....bring it on!

So here we are, in the home stretch of this year, the last quarter, the last couple of holidays. First birthday after ThyCa diagnosis and treatment. I have to say that when I was hoping that my 40's would be unlike any other decade I had completed, I had no idea it would start the way it did. But I'm still here, still trying to be a survivor, still looking forward to whatever comes my way. October is here, after all.

How does my neck look? 9/28/10

I'm still having problems in the afternoons, feeling tired. I decided to try adding caffeine to my afternoons this week. Yesterday I had an iced venti hazelnut latte, resulting in feeling too jittery during the 5pm hour. Today I had an iced grande decaf skinny hazelnut latte, this time resulting in feeling a little less jittery, but jittery nonetheless, during the 5pm hour. Maybe adding caffeine was not such a great idea after all. I run Wednesdays after work, so I won't be downing a latte of any kind tomorrow afternoon.

I am also trying to go to sleep a little earlier too so I can wake up earlier, maybe even sneak in a few extra minutes of sleep. I'm still working on it.

I noticed that the middle of my scar has more color - a few weeks back it looked a little dry, white, and scabby, but it looks much better now. Anyway, what do you think? How does my neck look?

Had one of those moments while driving to work this morning. I realized my bday is about a month away, and last year was the last "normal" bday I celebrated.

Is it the weather that is making me feel drained each afternoon? Temperatures are high this weekend, and all I want to do is sleep, after 2pm. Non-productive.

San Diego Trolley Dances 2010

.... one of the only dance events I consistently attend each year since I moved back to SD. Got some pretty good photos to post. You can find more info about the SD Trolley Dances here


Below are some of my favorite shots of the dances:

ThyCa group meeting - Sep 23, 2010

Once again another work day where I started to run out of steam in the afternoon. I wonder if/when that condition will improve.

Was not sure if the ThyCa meeting was this evening or next Thursday night. Lucky for me it was this evening, and there were a couple new people that attended. The discussion was good. One of the new members just had her TT surgery two weeks ago and wanted to know more about LID (low iodine diet) and what happens after you get your RAI dose. She did not know how big her tumor/nodule was, nor did she have her pathology report. She was even surprised to hear that you can choose not to have RAI. Well, in reality that is not a choice for everyone. The Mayo Clinic published a study in 2008 that showed that ThyCans with papillary carcinoma less than 2 cm have the same survival rate whether or not they had RAI. One of our members decided against RAI. And I'm learning that many more have done the same. Lucky for them.

Once again the meeting ran over, a little past 7pm, so it was too late for me to make my pilates class. I stayed to learn more about the facilitator position. I decided to become a co-facilitator, with Kira. We spoke with Mary about the responsibilities, changing the meeting dates and times, and how to get more people to attend, and possibly get some speakers at our meetings. I'm excited about it.

Next month our meeting is after the annual ThyCa conference in Dallas. The conference schedule was just published this evening. As I suspected, I'll be missing one or two Hurthle cell sessions on the first day since I would not be able to fly out until Friday morning, the first day of the conference. I haven't looked at the whole schedule, but I'm already sad that I will not be able to attend the conference.

Wow, I managed doze off for about 30 minutes just now. I'm exhausted, and I didn't even workout this evening.

Dreaming while driving

I'm still ready for a nap around the 4pm hour, even today. Well, today was a little different as I was ready to nap starting at 3pm. I got a few things done between 3 and 4:45pm, so I avoided having to take the nap. However, the drive home was a little more challenging. Downtown was overcast and there was no need for sunglasses, but by the time I got to the 163/15 split, the sun was out and not only was I sleepy, but the bright sun was making it nearly impossible to keep my eyes open. I put on the shades while I was at the light at the top of the off ramp. I hit three more lights before I got home, and at that last light, I closed my eyes for a split second and started to dream about eating Trader Joe's Inside Out  carrot cookies - I took a bite, then remembered that I was in my car at a stoplight and I would probably be hearing angry horns honking at me, the mere thought jerked me awake. Happily, the light was still red. But I kept on thinking about those TJ's cookies until I got home. Yes, I ate one as soon as I got home.

So, I still have not figured out the 4pm nap. Is it because I'm not getting enough sleep? But am I not getting enough sleep because I can only sleep for no more than 4-5 hours each night? Am I eating/drinking too soon after taking my Levoxyl so it is not being properly absorbed? My monthly cycle is greatly out of whack this month. I'm not even sure what I should tell my ENDO, if anything. I think I should be taking another blood draw to check my TSH and Tg levels, though, maybe in a week or two. I think I need to wait another week and see if things are still out of sorts before I report to my ENDO. Hopefully this all pans out soon.

Fight off the Sunday blahs?

Did my usual Sunday morning workout (pilates class, treadmill torture, arm weights), and to add into the mix, I'm going rock climbing in a few minutes. I know, I'm a little worried my arms are gonna crap out on me, esp since I did weights just a couple of hours ago, but I'm going to give it a go. I also realize this could complicate things at my SONY appt tomorrow after work (they show you how to use your SONY product, at the Sony Style store, so I have an appt for a session with my NEX-5), esp if I have problems using a stapler again tomorrow at work. And, as if that wasn't enough, I'm also ready for a nap, and it isn't even 4pm yet. So many things working against me, but I want to see how far I can push my body. I'm tired, but I'm not going to sit around and wait for the Sunday blahs to set in.

How does my neck look? 9/18/10

Yet another afternoon where I was ready to take a nap in the 4pm hour. This time I was driving Frankie to Noah's in PB for his bath. I don't think I exerted myself too much today - took Frankie on a short walk, ran some errands, took Frankie to the vet and a bath..... Maybe my sleep was a bit off this morning since I was up late researching filters for my NEX-5.

Something new I've noticed is that my scar is now itchy! I started scratching it last night while I was surfing the web for filters. Then just now, it was itchy again. I guess that is just more of the healing process. Other than that, it has also been feeling tight when I swallow or lift up my chin. I rub/massage it every now and then. I still have not put any anti-scar stuff on it yet.

Not sure if this is a new symptom, but I'm still getting cramps in my feet and legs. It has been getting better, a lot less cramping, but I can still feel it, while just standing around. If I remember correctly, lack of calcium causes cramping and joint pain, and I've seen other Thycans mention it on the forums. I'll have to look more into it to see if it is a new symptom so I can tell my ENDO about it. I hope it's not, but I can't think of any other reason why I've been having leg/foot cramps lately.

So anyway, how does my neck look?

Once again I feel tired after my lunch time walk, but today I have a slight headache to go with it. Wonder what is going on.

Photos

Here are some photos I took with my Sony NEX-5 last week when I was in San Francisco:

That's me, shot by LindaMay - Union Sq, SF

Sweep panorama mode

View from my room - Hilton, 10th floor

I am drained...physically & mentally drained right now. After my walk during lunch I wanted a nap. After all the digging I've done to fix things at work today, I feel spent.

This morning was the first time someone mentioned not seeing me for some time at work. I hesitated before saying I took some time off to take care of my dad.

2pm vs 4pm nap

I have been able to get past the 2pm nap time, but a few times this past week I have run out of steam in the 4pm hour instead, including today, which is a Saturday. The only thing I'm not doing is taking my daily multivitamins. Hopefully taking them consistently again will fix my 4pm crash-time.

So, my monthly cycle is still off (still not here yet). In addition, I think colder weather makes my scar feel....funny. A few times while I was in SF earlier this week I could feel my scar when I swallowed or moved my neck a certain way. It's hard to explain the exact feeling, but I have not had it in a while....like the skin around my scar is being stretched and I get little shocks along it. Now, I remember my ENDO said it would feel like this for at least 6 months after my surgery. This is only month #4, so I still have a couple more months of the funny neck/scar feeling.

How does my neck look? 9/10/10

Can't believe it has been more than a week since I posted a photo of my scar. So, I think I'll post a couple of them, including some from the a few months back. Let me know how you think my neck looks now.

Friday 9/10/10

Saturday 9/4/10 - I'm lying down in this one, and it looks a lot like a neck crease!

Saturday 8/7/10

 Monday 7/5/10 - swelling after RAI treatment

 Saturday 6/5/10 - still a little puffy after 2nd surgery, but at least derma bond is starting to peel off.

Wednesday 5/5/20 - Two days after the 1st surgery, left thyroid lobe removed

Saturday 4/17/10 - Two days after 2nd opinion FNA biopsy on left thyroid lobe

Now I'm tired

So yesterday I was ready to nap on BART going to SFO. Today, around noon and then around 4pm I was ready to nap. The scary thing is I was driving home from the dog bath place in PB (yes, per the vet, Frankie needed a medicated bath!), right when traffic was starting to get heavy. Even waking up this morning was harder than it has been for the past week. I wonder if my meds are finally leveling out and need to be changed again, or perhaps all those mornings when I couldn't sleep more than 4 or 5 hours last week finally catching up to me?!?

Travel day - SF day 2

Got some things done today. Forgot how slow TAS is in SF, I wanted to cry a few times. On BART to SFO, boy am I exhausted! Starting to fall asleep to the lull.

My flight was delayed 15 minutes. At least it was not a full flight. I managed to stay awake for the duration. When I got home, I noticed that Frankie's skin condition was a lot worse than before I had left for my trip. The cyst that burst still had not healed, and he's got a bunch of dry itchy areas all over the place. Looks like I'm taking him to the vet tomorrow. I'll work from home until an appt opens up. Poor Frankie. If it is not my health/well-being that is in the crapper then it is his. Welcome home.

Travel day - SF day 1

Although I tried to get 6 hours of sleep last night, somehow I woke up at 4:41am, and couldn't get back to sleep. Once again, I think this is the only thyroid med problem that still has not cleared up yet. Well that and my monthly cycle. Anyway, getting up that early was Ok because I was able to figure out how to get my empty camera box home - undo it and fold it flat, into my luggage. Voila! Still had some other packing to do as well, and after it was all said and done, and the taxi had dropped me off at SFHQ, it was only 7:30am. I made it in before all the other admins!

I was at work until 6:15pm. Made it to the Hilton, at the edge of Chinatown/North Beach around 6:30pm. After taking in the view from my 10th floor room, facing Coit Tower, I unpacked, changed my clothes, and was on my way to my evening adventure around 7:15pm. Took as many shots as I could as I headed into North Beach for some Italian food. I ate at a restaurant called Valore Cafe. I think I have eaten there before, well either that or it was a deja vu feeling, just like the locker room at the rock climbing place last week. Weird. Anyway, I ate a lot, so I decided to go out of my way to find a Walgreens to buy a bottle of water. I ended up at a 7-11 on Market Street & Sutter. And I had forgotten to turn on my iPod pedometer, so I only got half of that walk in.


So, back at the hotel now. I'm a bit tired, so I'm thinking that once again I will be able to sleep well tonight (just like I thought I would last night, but didn't). I have at least one meeting tomorrow. I'll have to leave the office by 4pm, I think, unless they have the whole body scanners at SFO - that could be a problem. I should be fine, though.Hopefully I get up on time.

Meeting with my boss this morning. Wow, so much has happened since I went on leave. Excited to have my responsibilities back and get my projects back on track.

Exhausted! We walked from California St to Jefferson St, then over to Ghirardelli Sq. Waiting in line to take the streetcar back to Union Sq. Took lots of pix!

SF Weekend in review

Wasn't sure how well I'd be holding up on this trip with the lack of sleep I had Thursday night (packing took a lot longer than I expected) and all the running around in the City, but I've been doing pretty good so far.

Saturday I slept in, Sunday (today) I sort of slept in (kept on going in and out of consciousness from 6am to 8am). Both days were pretty full of eating (lots of it! --still PMS-ing), some walking around, and the focus being on looking at a digital camera (DSLR) for my brother-in-law. And it was all worth it since Phill got a Nikon D90, and I got a Sony NEX-5. We even had time to look at a puppy for Viv this afternoon! And we made it up to the Marina so Phill and I could take some photos with our new cameras. And I have to say with all of this going on, I have not needed a nap, either day. My sleeping habits still need improvement, but so far I think my Levoxyl dosage is adequate, well, as far as my energy is concerned. But not so sure about the amount of time I am able to sleep each day.

I got to hang out with Kristin Friday night. Viv and I met her at a pub/restaurant in the Haight called Magnolia. We shared the beer ice cream for dessert, which I highly recommend to everyone, as well as the snap pea ravioli. Just like me last year when I turned 40, she too felt the need to get outta town for her 40th this week. So I was really glad I caught her before she took off.


Nick and Jerry both say my scar is pretty unnoticeable, and that I look like I'm full of life. That was really good to hear, esp coming from two people that have seen me at my worst - out walking dogs still in my PJs, un-showered, and completely unkempt. I love those two, and their two boob-pawing dogs. Somehow I was able to escape my stay with them without getting pawed this time!
 
Viv has already gone back to SAC since she works tomorrow morning. I've got a full day with LindaMay and Phill tomorrow before I have to work as well come Tuesday morning. I expect most of the day will be spent playing with our new cameras and just walking around enjoying this lovely city. There is so much I remember and so much I don't remember about this city I used to call home. I'm so glad that my energy level has been able to keep up with me on this trip.
 
Places I enjoyed this weekend:
Nick & Jerry's - best place to crash and hang with friends and their pets, and possibly the best views of SF in the Excelcior district!
Calumet - cool photography store. Ask for Alicia - she was very helpful showing us good starter DSLR cameras (she recommends Cannon T2i or Nikon D90)
Nubi - froyo at Portrero Center - not as good as PinkBerry, but it will do
Wolf Camera - or Ritz Camera if in SoCal. Ask for Shanna - she was very helpful with our NEX and Nikon questions, and best thing of all, she kept me in mind when an NEX-5 was recieved/returned at her store, so of course I just had to snatch it up!
Chouquets - nice little french bistro on Fillmore. Cute french waiter!
Pets Unlimited - great place to adopt a pet from. Viv may be getting a new addition.....soon.....
Baby Blues BBQ - all I can say is YUM!!!
 

So, I got the SONY NEX-5! They are hard to come by, so @ Wolf when she said someone returned it this AM, I had to look @ it. Early bday!

Camera research..... looking at DSLRs for my brother-in-law, then started looking for myself. I like the Canon T2i or the Sony NEX-5 (a 4/3 camera).

Bummer - I didn't set off any alarms at security. Also, the whole body scanners have not been set up here yet, well at least not in this terminal.

Airport security....just realized that I may set off (radiation) alarms at the airport this evening when I go through security. My "card" is valid for 80 days.

Still sore

Everything still hurts from my rock climbing outing Tuesday night, but most likely because I did not stretch after. Even last night after run club I probably should have stretched more, but I didn't. As a result, at pilates this evening, I was getting calf, thigh, and foot cramps! Maybe I am dehydrated. Despite all my whining about being sore from so much activity, I have to admit that I am pretty proud of myself for not needing to take naps during the day at work! It will most likely hit me on my flight to San Francisco tomorrow night.

At work, I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things. I even forgot how to book my travel, although it did not help that our travel website has changed since I've been out. I'm still going over the emails trying to piece things together on my projects, and going back to see if there were any data integrity issues that were overlooked, of which I found a few.

Looking forward to the weekend. Still need to pack. I hope I do not forget to bring my bottle of Levoxyl. I'll need to dress warm for work on Tuesday and Wednesday as the temps go down to 61 and 57 degrees respectively. I wish I was packing for vacation instead of work and vacation.

Viv and I are staying at Nick & Jerry's Friday and Saturday nights. I miss those two, and their boob-pawing dog, Leche. He's a rather lovely white dog, just beautiful, red tipped and all. But the minute Viv or I walk in their front door that dog comes right at us and goes for our chest area with his paws. We could be sitting in the kitchen chatting with the guys, and Leche always manages to come around and get his paws up there. Not sure what it is. So to add to my already sore arms and legs from two nights ago, I may have to add my boobs to the list after my visit with the guys.

First day back

As expected, it took several hours for my work PC to install updates and load all my emails from the past four months. Thank goodness I only had to call the Help Desk twice (for two separate issues). It felt really good to be back at work after all I've been through, to do something 'normal'. And, I did not need a nap at 2pm!

A few people from the Admin team called/emailed/OC'd me to see how I was doing. I didn't really run into that many people in the hallways, elevators, even the restroom, so I didn't have to worry about people asking me where I've been or what's that on my neck.

Nice surprise: I'll be in San Francisco next week (Tue and Wed) for work! I've got a lot of catching up to do with all the changes that have been going on since I left, and see where my projects are going (and where they've been during my absence) - somethings are just better done in person than over the phone. I don't get to see my boss that often, so I always jump at the chance to have some face-time with her. Anyway, I got the Ok from her to fly up a couple of days earlier, which works out well for me since two of my sisters (Viv, and LindaMay and her hubby, Phill) will be in SF this weekend. I'm also hoping to visit a few other people, especially KT since her bday is next week. Not sure how tight my schedule will be on Tue/Wed when I'm working, but I hope I can fit it all in.

The soreness from rock climbing yesterday has expanded from my forearms and fingers to my triceps and delts. It wasn't so bad after work, but it was really bad after run club - I could not turn the steering wheel without feeling the pain! Holy smokes! I hope tomorrow is less afflictive, although pilates class tomorrow night could still make things worse.

Ok, first day back at work. Still going strong, but good thing I'm on my lunch break now! My forearms/fingers are still sore - got a cramp using a stapler!