Lazy (crazy?) Sunday

Not sure what is going on with me. Maybe it is the hot weather? Maybe I am just struggling to get back into my normal routine, after all, nothing is normal about my body anymore, is it?

Did my 10 mins of 'slow walking'. I know I didn't explain what that was yesterday, so here's my best description:
Stand, barefoot along a line in the ground/carpet/tile (as a guide), feet together. Bend your knees, straighten your back, including the small of your back; drop and relax your shoulders. Separate your knees so that your fist could fit between them, at all times. Step forward with either foot, start with the toes, then slowly continue to lift that foot, with your heel being that very last part of your foot that comes off the ground. Slowly, place it about 1" in front of your other foot, but along the guide line in the floor; plant this foot squarely on the floor. Once your foot is on the ground, shift your weight onto that foot/leg. This should take 30 seconds to complete. Now do the same exact thing with your other foot, also taking 30 seconds to complete the step. If you feel any pain during the 30 seconds, slow it down where it hurts. Remember to keep your knees a fist width apart, your back as straight as possible, and your shoulders relaxed. Depending on where the weakness is in your legs, that is where it will hurt the most, so the exercise will feel different for everyone. For me, I get a lot of pain along the inner part of my knees.

I made it to pilates (my abs hurt a lot less afterward), did 1.5 mile on a stationary bike, then stretched. I thought maybe I could either walk Frankie or run at the park this evening, but I didn't quite get around to doing either. Lazy, I guess. I did get a nap in when I got home though, and I'm feeling pretty exhausted right now, so I must have done just enough today.

So I was PMS-ing after all, but not so sure why I'm still very emotional even after my monthly reminder has arrived, early. Why all the crying? I don't even know why I'm crying, but it happens a lot when I'm driving, and has been pretty consistent for the past two, maybe three days. Could this be depression? I can't explain it, but I'll just be driving along, then all of the sudden BAM! I start to feel a bit of desperation and then tears are running down my cheeks. I feel like a mess, so I don't go home, I just continue to drive (yup, this is why I ended up at the beach yesterday). Sometimes I can easily stop crying, other times it continues for a few minutes. WTF! I don't mind crying if I have a good enough reason to cry, but I don't really think I have one right now. This is crazy.

As for my neck, I am still getting odd sensations along my scar. I thought it might be from putting stuff like Vaseline or sunblock on it. Sometimes it feels like I'm being strangled. Other times it feels like pins and needles all along the scar, with little tiny shocks here and there. The scar thing I'm sure is just normal healing stuff, after all, my surgeries were just two weeks apart, going through the same incision area. But the crying thing?!? not so sure where my little melt downs are coming from. I just want to be normal again, or closer to what I remember to be normal. Although I think I need to remember that my new 'normal' will most likely not be the same as my former 'normal'.