How does my neck look? 8/15/10

My new Levoxyl prescription arrived yesterday afternoon, so this morning I switched over from the old dosage (175 mcg) to the new dosage (150 mcg). Not sure when I will be able to tell for sure if my symptoms/complaints have improved or not, but I don't think it would be for a few days, at least. My energy level has been pretty good today. Hopefully I will be able to fall asleep easily tonight.

Went to pilates class this morning, then jogged 3/4 mi on the treadmill. My right knee felt a little tender, but not enough that I had to stop. I really need to work in another run during the week, preferably before I go back to work so I already have my weekly workout schedule set up. I'm thinking about trying to get to a hip hop dance class once a week, but they all seem to be too early in the evening for me to get to. A yoga class would be good too, just not a power yoga class, so I don't think I'll be going to Selena's Monday or Tuesday night classes for a while yet.

The tingly feeling in my neck comes and goes. I'm starting to feel a lot more self-conscious about it now that I only have a little over two weeks before I go back to the office. I may have to invest in some short sleeve turtle necks so I don't have to worry about explaining my new beauty mark on my neck. A lady in my pilates class was telling me to start massaging it, to help loosen the area so I don't get a lot of scar tissue, or something like that. I should try this and see if it feels or looks better (to me, at least).

I know I should be proud of my scar, but right now I'm not feeling too good about people seeing it at work, not yet. So tell me, how does my neck look? Should I keep it covered or show it off at work? (then tell people it's none of their business if they ask about it?!?)

They have to go home sometime

Closing in on the end of two weeks with my siblings in town. My brother and nephews left Tuesday morning (8/10). My oldest and youngest sisters leave today (8/13) - this morning and this evening, respectively. My second sister leaves tomorrow morning (8/14), but, she'll be back next week, well, up in Irvine, to watch her daughter (my niece #3, Micah) swim three events in the Pan Pacific meet.

I love talking about the good old days with my siblings. It's one thing to talk about it with my parents or with my siblings on the phone, but it's a totally different experience when we are all together laughing about the dumb things we did when we were little. Of course with family gatherings goes a lot of eating. I'm so tired of eating. I think the only thing I could bother myself to eat right now, since I'm soooooo stuffed, is frozen yogurt. I don't think I could eat anything else. So bummer that they all have to go home sometime, but I think my digestive track will be a lot happier since it won't be working overtime from all the food I've been cramming down my mouth the past two weeks.

So, that leaves me a little over two weeks to get myself ready to return to work. They leave and I have to go back to work. I wonder if I'll be able to work full days. If I get my sleeping pattern down I bet I could do it. September 1st, I believe, is a Wednesday. A run club day, no less. Good thing the Labor day holiday is a few days after my return. I'm sure there will be a lot that I'll have to catch up on at work. In my email exchanges with my boss, she has told me that there have been some structural changes within our dept, and of course the programmers have been waiting for me to return to look at the revamped version of the databases I manage.

Am I ready for all of this?, to return to the rest of my 'normal' life? To face all the questions people will have - the prying "Where have you been for the past couple of months?" questions, the "Oh, you have cancer" pity looks and querries.... all the questions and comments I have been safe from for three and a half short months? Hopefully my scar will be a lot less visible, or maybe I can put concealer on it. Then again, I don't have to tell everyone my story because that does belong to me. I don't have to share anything with anyone I don't want to share with. Sadly, there are still some people I'd rather kick really hard in the nuts (or face) than divulge my whereabouts for the past couple of months.

Hyperthyroid?!?

I checked my blood work results online last night because I wasn't sure why my Levoxyl dosage would be decreased if my levels were above normal. For the record, my TSH was below the normal range while my Free T4 level was above the range. From everything I've read online and in books, as a ThyCa patient, I know my TSH has to stay below .5, and my level was at .25, so I was confused as to why my dosage should be decreased - wouldn't that mean my TSH would also increase, and therefore stimulate any remaining cancer cells to wake up and grow? Well, not necessarily in my case. This is why I should leave all the important stuff like interpreting lab results to my ENDO.

My research indicated that a low TSH and a high Free T4 points toward hyperthyroidism, or overactive thyroid. This is weird because I think I have many of the symptoms of hypothyroidism - low energy level, constipation, weight gain, etc. But, since I just got my monthly reminder that I am a girl, I suppose that all could have been bad PMS - at least this time I didn't cry each day for no reason at all or have really bad depression and mood swings. My monthly cycle was never consistent before, so I don't imagine anything that happens now will seem normal. I don't remember being consistent for more than five months at a time, then something would always change, like I'd skip a month or something like that. So here's yet something else I'll have a new 'normal' for. Isn't there some saying that you are not normal if you are normal? I think I used to tell myself that when I was a teenager because my life didn't seem to be like all of my friends' lives - I didn't think I was normal at all. And here I am, 25 years later and I'm still not normal. Ugh!

For some reason my ENDO placed my new Levoxyl order with a mail order pharmacy, so I have to wait for the new prescription to arrive before I start taking the lower dosage. I need to report back to him if any of my symptoms change or new ones appear. Nice - at least I am my own personal guinea pig.

You know, I never thought that my health issues affected anyone close to me so negatively, but turns out I was wrong. I think I'm dealing with it Ok - sure I like to know what all the possibilities are, good and bad, but it's just so I can be prepared for the worst if things go that direction. This apparently drives some people close to me CRAZY, which seems odd to me since I'm the one who has to live with it, but I guess I have forgotten that it also affects them too. Sigh.

Blood work.....my levels are above normal so my ENDO is reducing my Levoxyl dosage. Still waiting to be scheduled for my chest CT scan.

WBS results!

ENDO says....results from my WBS were successful. However, there were signs of uptake in my chest, not definitive, so I will be scheduled for a CT scan. He said a lot of ThyCa patients have this type of uptake in their chest area and most of the time it is nothing, but the Radiology department could not say for sure that it was not of concern, hence the CT scan. Waiting to see when my CT scan will be scheduled.

My ENDO said I just need to "believe the science", which Viv later said he was talking about the law of averages. Sorry, but I don't think my averages have been so great since my thyroid issue was detected last November. Sure I had a 50% chance of my HC neoplasm being benign or malignant (but it's found mostly in people over 45 (I'm 40), and it's not a very common thyca (3-10% of all differentiated thycas)), and how about my three little PC foci on the right side?!? Viv says that makes me "special." Argh! I don't want to look at my situation this way, but the odds have not been in my favor so far. He also said something similar regarding my FNA biopsy results back in February - 'inconclusive, but you should see an ENT to have it removed to make sure it isn't cancer.' I'm just saying......that I hope this is not a pattern for him.

Anyway, I was supposed to have my blood work done a few days before my appt, so he couldn't tell me if my meds are at the correct level or not. I had my blood drawn a few hours ago (Free T4, TSH, Tg), so they should have the results later this afternoon. If necessary, he'll tweak my dosage a little. If the CT scan results are clear, then my follow up appt is in December (with another round of blood work before that appt), and another round of RAI at the one year mark.

He said I'll get the tingling sensation in my neck for about six months, that it looked like it was healing well. He also said I should be Ok to go back to work on September 1st. Yay!

How does my neck look? 8/9/10

Since I technically took this picture of my neck at 12:00am, I guess this would count as a neck photo for 8/9/10. I did spend a few days in the sun while watching my nieces swim this past week, so I'm not sure if my scar will be affected or not, possibly darkening it's color, any way, let me know what you think - how does my neck look?

Full weekend

What an exciting weekend! A bit exhausting, but well worth it, especially once I had my afternoon nap each day. The weekend started with the arrival of my youngest sister Friday evening.

We spent Saturday in Irvine at the national swim meet watching niece #3 swim. She won her prelim heat and swam a personal best! However, in the Finals she didn't fare too well, but she was right there with Rebecca Soni (the winner) until the last 50M. She did make it on the US National team and will be competing in two weeks in the Pan-Pacific meet which will also be held in Irvine. She's training and rubbing elbows with Michael Phelps, Amanda Beard, Ryan Lochte, etc. Hmm... I wonder if she will miss the first week or so of school or not.

Photo stolen from my sister's blog.....this is my niece, Micah, in action.

Sunday we worked on my parents' backyard. By 4pm I was down for the count. Once my brother got my dad's gas grill working, we had a barbeque for dinner - even dessert was barbequed (bbq'd peaches topped with french vanilla ice cream!). Good food, good company, good times!

My brother and nephews leave Tuesday morning, but my sisters are staying until the end of the week (leaving on Friday and Saturday). I know my dad has been in much better spirits since my brother and nephews arrived last Monday evening. He was a bit depressed after his doctor appt on Friday, but I can tell that having all of his kids and almost all of his grand kids around for the past couple of days has been encouraging for him. I'm doing Ok myself, but still think I'm a bit on the hypo side of things right now. Since my brother will be leaving early Tuesday morning, I will most likely take one of my sister's with me to my 8am ENDO appt instead of my mom. Still have no idea what the 'additional tests' may be.